Second Job Struggles.

I'm trying to get a second job, because I want more money.

That's simple enough, right?

Well, I figured it was, but today I actually went out to do what people call "job hunting." But I realized that trecking from store to store, awkwardly asking about applications and if they're hiring, is actually a lot of work.

I got home with at least five applications, and filled out one in store. When I sat down to actually fill them out, I got pretty annoyed. I know that it's all part of the territory, but I just hate having to try and put into words that this would be a second job. As in, an additional job for more hours.

But these people who gave me the applications didn't seem too thrilled. In fact, only one place was actually hiring, the rest were just like "oh well, here's an application, turn it in when you can."
This is so annoying to me, simply because the first job I ever applied for, I got. And I'm still there.

I wish someone would just be like "Hey, wanna work here? Don't worry about explaining your avalibility just yet, or that this will be a second job, or any references. Just here's some money."
I guess the world doesn't work that way.

I know this is the stupidest thing to complain about, because I'm lucky to have a job at all, but I'm just really starting to worry about college and other money related issues I'm going to have to face soon. I really want some type of secruity.

I suppose if all else fails I can beg for more hours at IGA. But I don't know if that's possible, considering all the new people we just hired.

I don't know, this would all be easier if I had someo sort of family member or friend that was like "hey, work here." But I don't.

So grr.

That's all I got folks, so uhh...here's the end of the post.

awkwardly signing off,
Taylor May.<3
Don't forget to follow me on twitter if you want! @Maylor_Tay. and Instagram: @tay_may.

Poem Post; End Of Summer.

I'm going to do this more often, I think. Here's a poem I wrote recently, I just thought I'd post it. :)

--
A final summer afternoon fades to a summer night,
and we’re too caught up in the sunset to realize the
crack of lightning, and thunder bellowing out a warning
of a notorious summer night storm, of rain.
My heart is heavy with anticipation, but yet giddy and light.
Like a childhood dance, but with a lot more feeling and a little less innocence.
Something like romance, something like fantasy, something like love.

And like some poorly acted chick flick of a movie,
some kind of storybook dream,
the clouds give way to this huge downpour,
pelting every single thing, including you and I.

Then, in the sudden chill of what was our very own summer afternoon,
soaked to the bone, dripping wet with cool rain,
you take my face in your hands,
look at me for just the right amount of seconds,
and your lips touch mine.
Somehow innocent, somehow fantastical, and more than romantic,
and when you pull away, it hurts more than any other good bye I’ve ever heard, or have had to say.
--

Hope you liked that!

Today wasn't very eventful. I've been reading The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks. I read it out loud to my boyfriend and brother while I was camping, and now Aaron wants me to finish is over the pone with him. He's pretty cute and stuff. :)

I also started talking to a girl who was diagnosed with CML this month that is the same age I was when I was diagnosed! I know it sounds really dorky, but I hope I can help her out in the way I wish I could have been when I first got sick.

Anyway, bye then? Like I said, I'll probably post more poems in the future. :)

Not much to say?

"This Summer is coming to an end, but we're not gonna let that slow us down one bit..."

--Joe Purdy, I Love The Rain The Most.


I honestly have been trying my hardest to be positive about this new school year. I've been alternating between excitement and dread, and I can't just get over the fact that this summer is over.

I know that my constant bitching really isn't gonna change the fact that I have to go back to that God awful place, but I just can't stop complaining. I'm annoying even myself. Ha. :P

And I still don't have a laptop, so it's gonna be sparatic posts for a little longer. Ha. Not like a lot of people see this anyway. but if there is anyone who actually does read this and care, I promise I'll try to make it a bit more intresting soon.

the last three days I was camping with my brother, boyfriend, and dad. And I had a lot of fun. And I'm getting used to my meds. Other than that, I haven't really much to say.
Oh! I got a twitter. :P @Maylor_Tay follow me if you want I suppose. I'm also on instagram, @tay_may.


So...bye? I'm the worst at send offs.

--Taylor May.

Catch Up Time.

Hey there.

So I started the new meds.

They're kinda mean. And by kinda mean, I mean the first week I was in a crazy amount of pain. Like I honest have never hurt so much in my life. They give me head splitting migraine-like headaches. It's not a good time to say the least. But I'm really trying to stay positive with these!! :) I'm told that the really bad side effects will subside, and I can't wait for that to happen, because I have to go to school soon.

School. Oh god.

I don't want to do this year. I don't want to be a senior. After waiting this long to be, all of a sudden, I'm terrified. In the words of Jason Mraz, "I almost don't wanna know anything about those things." I am so scared that I will have to struggle through everything to get to do what I want, as I've already done to decide which road to take. All I want to do now is skip to the good part where I'm teaching kids to write and reading essays and being like the English teachers I've always looked up to and admired. But I've gotta wait like....four ish years...

Hurrah. :)
I'll try to post more frequently. The next thing I'm going to be saving up for is a laptop, and that'll make it way easier to post at least every week is not every day. :) Thanks for reading? haha I'm the worst at good byes.

Meow.

I meow a lot. It's kinda stupid, seeing as I'm not a cat, but it's just one of those things I do.

Another thing I do is work at IGA near my house. I'm a cashier. I love it so much! We recently hired new employees, and today at work I think I sufficently made an ass of myself.

But actually, I'm just trying to be nice and welcome the new comers, but I'm just kinda obnoxious. Well maybe. I just love my job so much, Im a super nerd about it...anyway.

I got thirty minutes cut from my five hour shift because it was so slow! Which is bogus, bc there was a mix up in the schedule and I have zero hours this coming week, and I'm going to Texas to visit my family from the 11th through the 19th. So...two weeks without a paycheck? Yupp. So poor. :(

Oh well, once school starts I'll get more hours. Plus when I turn 18 in December I hope to get another job as a waitress somewhere. :)

Anyway. That's all I got for now I guess. <3 Love love. :)

Grrr.

Just recently I have been trying to cut out one of the thingsw in my life that I love more than anything- Music and performing.
I left the band I was lead singer of, I didn;t audition for one of my favorite shows that was being put on by a local arts company, stuff like that.
And now...i'm fully realizing that I absolutely cannot live without being on stage in some way.
I want more than anything to persue this, to live this, to eat sleep and breathe musical theater...but my health makes it impossible for me to live and actor's unstable life...

UGH. I am so sick of having the same stupid thoughts all the time. I'm just tired of having to jump through hoops and then feeling like I should be doing somehting else.

I for sure have to switch medication, I have an appointment with my oncologist this coming Tuesday. Joy of joys. I just hope that I feel better on new medication.

I was just feeling so hopeful and excited for the future, and then this hit me like a frieght train. Ugh.

I'm just going to listen to John Mayer til I fall asleep.