I feel like my life is turning into a bad country song.
I cut my hand on a soup can.
That cut got infected.
I have to take antibiotics because infections and the inability to create white blood cells? Not a good pair.
The antibiotics cause headaches.
I already get daily headaches (along with other things) from my medication I take for my CML.
Can I ever catch a break with this stuff? Honestly.
And I keep trying to smile through it but yesterday I just had to sleep all day instead. So I did.
Sometimes I just don't know. I feel like the reason behind everything that I've talked about in multiple blogs gets lost in all of the other things that I feel I worry about almost too much. Every single day I think about my future. And how terrifying it is. Every single day.
And I know that it's scary for everyone, but I feel especially terrified daily.
And then I get this feeling in my chest and my heart beats really fast and I want to write a blog so I usually do, and I try to always end it with some type of happy sentiment.
Today I was in the mall with one of my dear friends, and a weird kid who looked like a trouble maker told me "Nice glasses."
So there's that.
I love you all so much, thank you for your support. <3 I will try to keep you posted on things going on..if anything happens ever.
I love you.
Taylor May.
Maylor_Tay on twitter
tay_may on instagram
maylortay.tumblr.com
Hi, I'm Taylor May.
"Give me a chance to prove I am the one who can walk that mile until the end starts."
Taylor,
ReplyDeleteWorrying about the future is something all of us with CML do. Especially when you are relatively new at this crap. It does get easier and I totally understand being younger you may wonder more about your future then some of us that are a bit older (ok quite a bit older). I have been doing this for over 7 years now and I can tell you honestly I don't think about it all the time. I do think about it when I take my pills twice daily but it isn't all day everyday like I used to. I actually plan for things in the future now where when I was first diagnosed I never thought about the future and what I might want to do, now I do. I think your many different blogs are a great idea to vent and let yourself put down how you feel, sometimes that alone will help.
For the first couple of years I wrote a journal that I didn't share with anyone, but it helped me a lot to deal with everything. I to have a blog but don't post on it very often anymore and don't really share it with anyone it is more for myself to write on when I get to thinking to much.
Just remember you are not the only one going through this and there are always people you can talk to if needed.
Have a great day,
Chuck