"Some days are gonna be crappsy."
The exact words from the voicemail I just got from my very wonderful boyfriend.
He's right!
The musical just ended, meaning pretty much any of my involvment with musicals just ended (atleast until Introspect this summer) and I am at my wits end. I'm sick of being sick. And I have moods like this, where everything feels wrongand I just need to complain, but I know that it doesn't solve anything.
Like right now. I should be doing some homework. Instead, I'm piss-ily writing this blog post.
The musical's over. My car's broken, again. I'm sick, besides the cancer. I feel "crappsy" as Aaron put it. I hate school. I keep getting upset at the smallest things. I feel like everything I do I hit a wall.
And I should be counting my blessings! Instead I get so upset like this.
Self destruction, I tell ya. Self poison. I am totally aware of my problems, and I know that I should fix them (most of them, like the school one, which is touch and go) but I focus so hard on my own flaws and the things that are out of my control that I just get pissed like this.
So yeah. Some things are crappsy.
Screw this.
Having a meltdown, seems like for the hundreth time,
Taylor May.
tay_may on instagram.
Maylor_Tay on twitter.
Maylor_Tay on snapchat.
Maylor_Tay on KIK.
Hi, I'm Taylor May.
"Give me a chance to prove I am the one who can walk that mile until the end starts."
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
One Month Later.
Hello again.
I assure you, I didn't die. I just let this stupid school thing get to me, along with everything else.
October was not a very good month for me. I was mean, negative, I felt sick, I didn't care about anything, my grades fell from mediocre to worse, and the worst part about it was I didn't really seem to give a sh*t.
But then I had a wake up call. A boy, my boyfriend's cousin, actually, asked me to edit his essay. To put it tactfully, there was a lot of work that could be done. It took me all of five minutes to realize this, and that I had to tell him this in a tactful way as well.
I remebered that not everyone loves writing as much as I do. I remembered that English is hard. I remembered that writing is hard.
And then, after I took notes and made edits on my copy of the essay, it wasn't long before I got to actually talk to the boy who wrote it. But, instead of right away telling him everything he did wrong, I asked him about the assignment, and what he was trying to say. He told me everything better than he portrayed it in the essay, but I tried to steer him in the right way, and help him to make better sense of his ideas.
I did that and I felt so good about it. I helped someone else with English. I felt this new type of happy, one I never got from singing or performing in general. It was a warm feeling, starting right in my core and spreading, and I smiled.
I need to care. I need to try. I need to teach.
So, my goal this November is to restart my motivation, be positive for everyone around me, and do what I can. Oh, and keep up on my blog a little better. ;)
All of my love. <3
Taylor May.
twitter: Maylor_Tay
instagram: tay_may
I assure you, I didn't die. I just let this stupid school thing get to me, along with everything else.
October was not a very good month for me. I was mean, negative, I felt sick, I didn't care about anything, my grades fell from mediocre to worse, and the worst part about it was I didn't really seem to give a sh*t.
But then I had a wake up call. A boy, my boyfriend's cousin, actually, asked me to edit his essay. To put it tactfully, there was a lot of work that could be done. It took me all of five minutes to realize this, and that I had to tell him this in a tactful way as well.
I remebered that not everyone loves writing as much as I do. I remembered that English is hard. I remembered that writing is hard.
And then, after I took notes and made edits on my copy of the essay, it wasn't long before I got to actually talk to the boy who wrote it. But, instead of right away telling him everything he did wrong, I asked him about the assignment, and what he was trying to say. He told me everything better than he portrayed it in the essay, but I tried to steer him in the right way, and help him to make better sense of his ideas.
I did that and I felt so good about it. I helped someone else with English. I felt this new type of happy, one I never got from singing or performing in general. It was a warm feeling, starting right in my core and spreading, and I smiled.
I need to care. I need to try. I need to teach.
So, my goal this November is to restart my motivation, be positive for everyone around me, and do what I can. Oh, and keep up on my blog a little better. ;)
All of my love. <3
Taylor May.
twitter: Maylor_Tay
instagram: tay_may
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